Why do people stay in relationships that they are not happy with?

It's not the responsibility of the spouse to keep or make you happy. That is up to you. Love is a verb not a feeling.

What brought the two of you together in the first place? There are times when I want to leave my husband. We have no attachments and both are in our 50s.

But marriage is a job. You have to work at it. Bad feelings are like gas, they will pass.

:) Stick it out. Unless there is adultery going on.

Is love really that strong is that the reason. Can someone give us some good insight Asked by zootedmalish 54 months ago Similar questions: people stay relationships happy Lifestyle > Relationships.

Similar questions: people stay relationships happy.

It really comes down to something simple... People make choices based on the best of possible options. If someone stays in a relationship or situation that does not seem to be the best situation, it is because there is no alternative available (or known, or believed) to them that is better than staying. For whatever reason, either fear, not liking change, living alone, not keeping commitments made or whatever is worse than the problems in the relationship.

Until the relationship gets worse than the next best alternative or the next best alternative gets better than the relationship, people will stay where they are. If it is a situation of mental abuse or depression, it confounds the problem even further in that someone may start to believe they are incapable of any other option. Over time, minor insults, degredation and insinuations can cause a person to have such a negative self image that they believe they are incapable of either caring for themselves or being loved by anyone and they therefore see their current situation as the best possible option since they think no one will ever love them again or that they are incapable of caring for themselves.It causes an unhealthy dependence on the abuser.

It can be very frustrating to those around these people to see the person being unhappy or knowing that they could do better but not be able to get them to change but there really isn't anything you can do to help if they don't want to change.

If it does, then don’t form any relationship because it won’t reach that point. Does it mean that you know your in a relationship with the perfect person? Again, that’s not going to happen.

Happiness is relative.It is relative to who you are; it is relative to specific stimuli in your life at a given time; and it is relative to your expectations. If you demand another person in a relationship should "make you happy" or that the relationship is supposed to "make you happy. " Then chances are slim that the person is truly looking at the full picture.

People who stay in relationships are usually looking at a bigger picture. If they leave the relationship, the happiness or relief that they feel is likely also fleeing. Most people report being less happy after leaving long-term relationships, not more happy.In reality, scientists are learning that happiness is what you make it.

If a person is not happy in a relationship, they are usually choosing to be sad or angry, whatever the case may be. Usually when one thinks that happiness is just around the corner, the reality is that their is only more of the same. The real dangerous thing would be for a person to listen to their friends’ perspective on what will make them happy.

Seldom do friends know how change is going to affect an individual. For example, Bob and Betty are dating. Sally thinks Bob is a jerk and has for a long time.

When Betty and Sally are eating lunch, Betty offloads a bunch of crap that has been bothering her about Bob for a long time. Sally assumes that Betty isn’t happy and that she’d be happier for leaving Bob. Sally is very short-sighted in this case because she’s only getting the negative side of the relationship.

In reality Betty loves Bob and their relationship is good for her. Now, one word of caution: If someone is being abused in a relationship, they would be wise to stop that abuse. Abuse goes beyond happiness or sadness.

Abuse will destroy the body or spirit of a person. In these cases, a person should do what it takes, such as leaving a relationship to stop the abuse. Stache's Recommendations How Full Is Your Bucket?

Positive Strategies for Work and Life Amazon List Price: $19.95 Used from: $4.10 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 67 reviews) Stumbling on Happiness Amazon List Price: $14.95 Used from: $7.45 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 129 reviews) Most of what I wrote was from Stumbling on Happiness.

It depends.... For some it is a fear of being alone, they would rather be with someone and miserable than be alone. You frequently find individuals like this, moving from one relationship into another before the first one is actually over or finding someone new within weeks of the first relationship ending. Some have misplaced optimism, they think that if they just stick in there, things will get better.

This is admirable in a situation where the relationship has been good, but has hit a rough patch and both people are willing to work at it, but very damaging if the relationship is unhealthy. They have low self esteem and feel they can do no better and they deserve no better, I'm sure we all know people like this, this also plays into the fear of being alone. They "enjoy" being miserable or playing the part of the martyr, because they get everyone's sympathy.

They don't know any better, they don't realize that it is not normal to be miserable in a relationship, perhaps they have had poor relationship examples growing up.

Fear. Comfort. People are afraid of the unknown.

A relationship may make you sad, but you know that if you break up you may not find a better one. Especially as you get older, a lot of people are afraid of being alone for the rest of their lives. It's easy to forget that there are better partners out there, and you're well aware that it won't be easy to find one.

The flip side of that is comfort. Your relationship may not make you happy, and may even make you sad, but there's often a lot going for it anyway. If you live together, breaking up means finding a new place, moving all of your stuff, etc.Even if you don't, you often have to reorganize your entire life, possibly make new friends.

You even have to deal with the heartbreak of your partner; even if your partner makes you sad you don't want them to be hurt. You're comfortable in the present state, if sad, and you fear the loss of that comfort.It sounds like an easy choice from the outside, but from the inside it feels too hard to break up, so you don't. The outsiders don't really know what's going on, so they often have little sympathy for the plight of people who can't break out of relationships.

" "Afraid of getting into close relationships with other people." "I am so vulnerable in my relationships with people. I feel like they are able to see right through me.. help! " "How in the world do people who have lost their spouse ever go on to new love relationships?" "Is it cheating?

Married people having online friendships or relationships with others who are also married? " "What type of boundries or rules do people make in relationships?" "What do you think of this statement regarding relationships? " "Do you run from relationships?

If so, how?" "Why are people who don't want relationships seen as werid or abnormal? I don't want a relationship, at least not now.

Afraid of getting into close relationships with other people.

I am so vulnerable in my relationships with people. I feel like they are able to see right through me.. help!

I don't want a relationship, at least not now.

Is love really that strong is that the reason. Can someone give us some good insight Asked by zootedmalish 59 months ago Similar Questions: people stay relationships happy Recent Questions About: people stay relationships happy Lifestyle > Relationships.

Similar Questions: people stay relationships happy Recent Questions About: people stay relationships happy.

It really comes down to something simple... People make choices based on the best of possible options. If someone stays in a relationship or situation that does not seem to be the best situation, it is because there is no alternative available (or known, or believed) to them that is better than staying. For whatever reason, either fear, not liking change, living alone, not keeping commitments made or whatever is worse than the problems in the relationship.

Until the relationship gets worse than the next best alternative or the next best alternative gets better than the relationship, people will stay where they are. If it is a situation of mental abuse or depression, it confounds the problem even further in that someone may start to believe they are incapable of any other option. Over time, minor insults, degredation and insinuations can cause a person to have such a negative self image that they believe they are incapable of either caring for themselves or being loved by anyone and they therefore see their current situation as the best possible option since they think no one will ever love them again or that they are incapable of caring for themselves.

It causes an unhealthy dependence on the abuser. It can be very frustrating to those around these people to see the person being unhappy or knowing that they could do better but not be able to get them to change but there really isn't anything you can do to help if they don't want to change.

If it does, then don’t form any relationship because it won’t reach that point. Does it mean that you know your in a relationship with the perfect person? Again, that’s not going to happen.

Happiness is relative. It is relative to who you are; it is relative to specific stimuli in your life at a given time; and it is relative to your expectations. If you demand another person in a relationship should "make you happy" or that the relationship is supposed to "make you happy.

" Then chances are slim that the person is truly looking at the full picture. People who stay in relationships are usually looking at a bigger picture. If they leave the relationship, the happiness or relief that they feel is likely also fleeing.

Most people report being less happy after leaving long-term relationships, not more happy. In reality, scientists are learning that happiness is what you make it. If a person is not happy in a relationship, they are usually choosing to be sad or angry, whatever the case may be.

Usually when one thinks that happiness is just around the corner, the reality is that their is only more of the same. The real dangerous thing would be for a person to listen to their friends’ perspective on what will make them happy. Seldom do friends know how change is going to affect an individual.

For example, Bob and Betty are dating. Sally thinks Bob is a jerk and has for a long time. When Betty and Sally are eating lunch, Betty offloads a bunch of crap that has been bothering her about Bob for a long time.

Sally assumes that Betty isn’t happy and that she’d be happier for leaving Bob. Sally is very short-sighted in this case because she’s only getting the negative side of the relationship. In reality Betty loves Bob and their relationship is good for her.

Now, one word of caution: If someone is being abused in a relationship, they would be wise to stop that abuse. Abuse goes beyond happiness or sadness. Abuse will destroy the body or spirit of a person.

In these cases, a person should do what it takes, such as leaving a relationship to stop the abuse. Stache's Recommendations How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life Amazon List Price: $19.95 Used from: $4.10 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 67 reviews) Stumbling on Happiness Amazon List Price: $14.95 Used from: $7.45 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 129 reviews) Most of what I wrote was from Stumbling on Happiness.

Fear. Comfort. People are afraid of the unknown.

A relationship may make you sad, but you know that if you break up you may not find a better one. Especially as you get older, a lot of people are afraid of being alone for the rest of their lives. It's easy to forget that there are better partners out there, and you're well aware that it won't be easy to find one.

The flip side of that is comfort. Your relationship may not make you happy, and may even make you sad, but there's often a lot going for it anyway. If you live together, breaking up means finding a new place, moving all of your stuff, etc. Even if you don't, you often have to reorganize your entire life, possibly make new friends.

You even have to deal with the heartbreak of your partner; even if your partner makes you sad you don't want them to be hurt. You're comfortable in the present state, if sad, and you fear the loss of that comfort. It sounds like an easy choice from the outside, but from the inside it feels too hard to break up, so you don't.

The outsiders don't really know what's going on, so they often have little sympathy for the plight of people who can't break out of relationships.

That`s the "I don`t want to change" attitude It happened to me to be in a relationship based on interest and advantage. And I felt very miserable. Now I`m just sorry.

Applied a little change, and consider myself free, right now Sources: My personal experience many years ago .

" "Open marriages and relationships...if you know of someone who is or has been in one..." "I am so vulnerable in my relationships with people. I feel like they are able to see right through me.. help! " "Is it cheating?

Married people having online friendships or relationships with others who are also married? " "Intellectual Relationships.

Open marriages and relationships...if you know of someone who is or has been in one...

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.