Would you mind giving comments or critique on this poem again, thanks?

Don't be dissapointed by others comments. You have the first step correct. You have written something from your heart.

Next, try and get a thesaurus from the library. It lists words of similar meanings of a word. Try searching for words at the end of each line that would make the poem have a rhyme but maintian the meaning that you are trying to convey.

You clearly have a creative mind, I can tell that by the meaning of your poem. Don't give up just because of stupid comments from other users. Hope this helps.

Good life. Cheers.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.