Correction short text in English by mail?

While learning English, thinking in Persian and then translating the same into English can cause such mistakes and errors. In order to avoid them, tell the student to think in English, without translating a sentence from Persian. The correct text could be : My brother is older (elder) than me.

He is now 20 years old. He lives in Tehran with our aunt. He is studying to become an Electrical Engineer.

I like my brother. He is a jolly-type (joyous) person. He has a beautiful girl friend.

She is also a student, wanting to be an Engineer. Last tear he had been to England for a month to study English. My father provided him with a suite case to carry his belongings.

My mother helped him with some money. He bought many things during his stay and study at England. I felt very happy on his return.

Now I am studying in England and he is staying at Tehran.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.