I just cant stand this life, I just cant?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. You can't change the fact that your mother is mentally ill. You can change the way that you respond to her behavior.

You can have compassion for her, that she is so ill that is unable to give and receive affection. You can find people, other than your mother, who can share that with you. Learn about your anxiety disorder, and depression.

Start with the basics -- diet, sleep and exercise. Cut out caffeine and things with a high sugar content. Take multi-vitamin, and since you have a mood disorder, make sure you are taking Omega 3's (fish oil capsules).

Get to bed the same time every night, early enough for sound sleep. Avoid naps. Shut off ALL the lights when you sleep.

No TV or radio playing while you sleep. Work out frustrations with aerobic exercise and stretching. Get plenty of sunshine.

Use aromatherapy and music therapy. Learn meditation and self-hypnosis techniques. Try a little feng shui in organizing your room.

Use herbal remedies. 5HTP. Hyland's Calms-Forte.

Hops Valerian blends. Chamomile Tea. See a doctor.

If you describe your mood problems, and you need to be totally honest with a doctor about the cutting, a doctor can help you by describing the correct medications to help you cope with your anxiety and depression. Get on the pill, if you can. The pill can help level out hormonal shifts that really play havoc with your moods.

Confront your feelings. You want to have a relationship with your Mom, but your Mom is mentally ill and addicted to drugs. Talk to your friends.

Write in a journal. Grieve for the relationship you cannot have with her. Work through the stages, denial, bargaining, anger, grief, acceptance.

Surround yourself with people outside your home who offer you mutual trust, respect and affection. These are your TRUE family. Include young people and older people, such as friends, parents of friends, neighbors, family members outside the home, teachers.

Start spending the night over at your friends' houses, A LOT. Talk to their parents about your situation, so they understand what's going on. Adopt a parent of a friend to be a "foster" mom.

Work hard on getting a college scholarship, so you can move out to a dorm at the first possible opportunity. Google "adult child of alcoholic" and read some of A J Mahari's free online essays on being the child of two parents with borderline personality disorder. Visits some web forums for patients and family of patients who are mentally ill.

If you truly can't take it anymore, pick up the phone, dial 911, and report your situation. Your mother is smoking marijuana. She slaps you and locks you up for days at a time.

You are cutting and you think you want to die. Either you will get some intervention from CPS, or they will remove you and place you in a foster home. It's drastic, but it's better than giving up life altogether.

Best Wishes and Good Luck!

Got o a school counselor, or any friends that may help you. If you feel like nobody can help you, you should consider calling a hot line where people can help you get out, or find a better situation for you to live in.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.