What's happening when you're son, daughter inlaw and family shun you?

Son is 46, has 5 siblings, married 20 plus years, now silent toward his mom and dad ... no declared reason or purpose. Asked by newguy69 60 months ago Similar questions: happening son daughter inlaw family shun Family.

Similar questions: happening son daughter inlaw family shun.

Communicate Of course, neither I nor anyone else on this post can authoritatively tell you what specifically is going on with your son. However, I have some ideas and suggestions. Unfortunately, I speak from some experience on this topic.My Mother and my Grandmother did not speak a word to each other for the final 20 years of my Grandma's life.

When my Mom was pregnant with my younger brother, she and my Grandma got into a fight. From what I recall about it at the time (I was 8) and what I have heard since (unfortunately VOLUMES) the two of them were having a protracted power struggle.My Grandmother was too involved in passing judgment on her daughter's life and trying to control her. My Mom was trying to rebel without effectively being able to tell her Mom that she loved her but needed to live her own life her own way.

One day, they got into an argument and left it with each insisting that other call back If they wished to discuss it further. Neither one blinked for 20 years. I do not know the specifics of your circumstance, but it does sound familiar to me.

The communication between you and your son is not good, similar to that between my Mother and Grandmother. Instead of asking an on-line forum what is going on, have you asked your son? So he is not communicating with you.

Have you called, written or dropped by his house to tell you he is important to you and you want him in your life? In a log-jam of communication, someone has to be the bigger person, swallow their pride and open the lines of communication. Your son almost certainly has some perceived grievance with you.

I suspect you have some idea what it is. If not, you need to find out. If not an issue between you and your son, it may be between you and his spouse.

You cannot hope to attain a strong relationship with your son if you are not at least on cordial terms with his spouse/significant other. He will not feel welcome in your home if she is not. Again, I'm afraid I speak from experience.

Some of the poor communication skills and relationship skills my Mom learned from her Mom are now repeating themselves and damaging our relationship as well. I was recently divorced from a woman my parents liked. They refuse to accept our divorce and because I initiated it they blame me and have effectively taken her side.

Now I am dating again and am planning on getting engaged to a wonderful woman they have refused thus far to meet. I had to tell my Mom and Dad last week that I am getting married again this year and if they will not welcome my girlfriend in their home, then I cannot invite them to the wedding and cannot see them again until they are willing to accept her. Hard conversation to say the least.

However, I refuse to repeat my Mother's past errors.My Mom and Dad know specifically the issue and have to choose whether to be part of my life or not. I suspect they will relent shortly, at least I certainly hope they will. SO think about your relationship with your son's significant other.

That can be a source of alienation. I suggest you appproach him and tell him you love him and want to be a part of his life. Let him know that if you've hurt his feelings in some way you need to know so you can address it and that you are sorry for whatever slight he has felt.It would be difficult if not impossible for him not to open up to you if you say this with sincerity.

I wish you luck. Google Map View Larger Map .

The only way you'll find out... The only way you'll know for sure is to ask. There are many many things that could be going on within the family that you have no knowledge of. It could be that he feels that he was mistreated somehow.It could be that interaction with his parents makes him uncomfortable for some reason, or it could be that as his parents are getting older, he fears losing them, so he's attempting to detach himself now.

Who knows what it could be? You have to ask because he's the only person who can really answer that question. Sources: my opinion.

It could be a ton of things The only way you'll know is to ask - maybe he's having problems with his own family, maybe you did something you didn't realize hurt him but he has taken to heart, maybe his job is getting to him...The key to a good relationship is good communication, so let him know that you love him and want to talk to him about anything that is upsetting him - if the channels are open, he'll take advantage of that when he's ready. Sources: My opinion .

I've often wondered the same thing myself... I was involved in a relationship for about three years with a man, and we had a very good relationship. The problem was his mother.... She never liked me and made it very clear. She'd tell him that she didn't approve of our relationship (although we were both faithful, Christian, excellent parents, I had a good job)... For years I tried to win the respect of that lady, and she's make a point to exclude me and my kids from family activities.

He's be invited (of course) to family gatherings like Christmas, etc. And it caused problems with us. She'd want him there on Xmas eve to spend the night and stay there all day Xmas... She just didn't want him to be around us and made a direct point to stop it. The problem I had was that she'd invite his ex wife, and they'd been divorced for years.

She'd invite them both on family vacations, saying it was good for the kids. I can respect that kids and parents need to be together, but I never liked him going to Florida for a week with her.... He'd ask her why she didn't like me and she'd always say she had no problem with me, just she wanted him to be with his ex-wife.... She made our relationship, over time, a living hell. Eventually we broke up because I couldn't take the interference.

I felt that he needed to stand up to her and demand that I could be included in activities. She simply refused. Sources: Very Personal Experience!

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1 SpamoSaurizzle, regarding your answer "It could be a ton of things": Thank you for your response. The story obviously has some significant complexities to it. I've written a zillion letters in my head.

Inlaw problems are an issue, and I haven't wanted him to choose between his parents and his spouse. I'm afraid that has happened in spite of my efforts. That's the wall I see in front of me.

SpamoSaurizzle, regarding your answer "It could be a ton of things": Thank you for your response. The story obviously has some significant complexities to it. I've written a zillion letters in my head.

Inlaw problems are an issue, and I haven't wanted him to choose between his parents and his spouse. I'm afraid that has happened in spite of my efforts. That's the wall I see in front of me.

A co-worker and friend's son getting married at a small restaurant family only. Do I get her son a wedding gift" "You are close knit family of honey bees your son or daughter tells you they want to wed a WASP who is non Beeish. " "What family do they come from?" "What are the Chinese traditions to welcome your son's new wife into the family?

" "What to do? My daughter in-law does like our family and doesn't want to spend time with us.So our son doesn't either. " "i had a family emergency and now im stuck and I need to get home to my son how can I get some help?

" "My daughter in law does everything possible to separate us from her family. Does anyone have an idea for resolving this? " "My son-n-law only wants his family in their lives and my daughter allows it.

" "My daughter will start kindergarten next year. She has always been kept by friends and family members. " "WHO IN YOUR FAMILY ARE YOU MOST LIKE?

A co-worker and friend's son getting married at a small restaurant family only. Do I get her son a wedding gift.

You are close knit family of honey bees your son or daughter tells you they want to wed a WASP who is non Beeish.

My daughter in-law does like our family and doesn't want to spend time with us. So our son doesn't either.

My daughter in law does everything possible to separate us from her family. Does anyone have an idea for resolving this?

My son-n-law only wants his family in their lives and my daughter allows it.

My daughter will start kindergarten next year. She has always been kept by friends and family members.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.