It's not too late for a CLEAN joke! It can be a good belly laugh, one liner, a groaner. Let's see what you have?

It's not too late for a CLEAN joke! It can be a good belly laugh, one liner, a groaner. Let's see what you have?

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. " The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands.

He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters.

I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying. " Asked by ~3critters1nheavn~ 24 months ago Similar questions: late CLEAN joke belly laugh liner groaner Entertainment > Humor.

Similar questions: late CLEAN joke belly laugh liner groaner.

Clean Pope Joke TWO CATHOLIC BOYS There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland , Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school.

They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests. Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects. Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the Next Pope.In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.

In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen. The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope! Antonio Secola was beyond surprise.

He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?" After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply.

"We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SECOLA. ( No groaning now! You know you're going to pass it on to Catholic and non-Catholic friends alike!

) .

One of my top ten jokes of all time....... Read it slowly otherwise you may not understand the joke............... A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to- door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last week? " Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church. " "Fine job, Peter!"

The reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you. " Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to sell for the church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected. " The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul.

You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you. " Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week? " Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope.

The reverend opened it and counted the contents. "What is this? " the reverend exclaimed."Louie, there's $3200 in here!

Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week? Louie just nodded. That's impossible!

" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to do accomplish this, Louie.

" Louie shrugged."I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!" "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?

" Sources: Personal collection from long time ago .

That's entrapment or....;) An impassioned minister was visiting a country church and began his address with a reminder: "Everybody in this parish is going to die. " The evangelist was discomforted to notice a man in the front pew who was smiling broadly. Why are you so amused?

He asked. I'm not in this parish, replied the man. I'm just visiting my sister for the weekend...;) .

Wake up, dear. It's time to get up. " "I don't want to get up." "You have to get up and go to school.

" "I don't want to go to school. " "You have to go to school." "They all hate me at school. " "No they don't.

" "Yes, they do. The teachers hate me and the students hate me. " "I'll give you three reasons to get up and go to school.

One, the teachers don't hate you; two, the students don't hate you; three, you're the principal, so get out of bed!" .

1 A teacher said to her class, "From the outset, I want you all to know there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite or on any of your papers, tests or homework. Using the words even once will earn you a failing grade for the quarter.

The first one is 'gross' and the other one is 'cool. ' Are there any questions? "A student says, "So, what are they?" .

A teacher said to her class, "From the outset, I want you all to know there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite or on any of your papers, tests or homework. Using the words even once will earn you a failing grade for the quarter.

The first one is 'gross' and the other one is 'cool. ' Are there any questions? "A student says, "So, what are they?

It's time for a good CLEAN joke, one liner and yes, the good old groaner. What do you have to post?" "It's late afternoon. Most of you are done with work or just about to finish.

How about a good, CLEAN, joke?" " It's almost my time for supper. How about a good CLEAN joke, groaner, one liner do you have for me? " "It's that time of day!

I found this groaner. What can you come up with? A groaner, a good CLEAN laugh?" "Have you ever pulled a really belly laugh joke on someone?

What did you do, and what was the penance? " "After being away for awhile, I think it's time to post a good CLEAN joke, one liner or groaner. What do you have?

" "Time to laugh! What CLEAN joke, one liner, groaner do you have to share tonight?" "I know it's the weekend and most are busy. I'm still going to post a groaner!

Do you have a CLEAN joke to share?" "Are you ready to laugh? It's time for that good CLEAN joke, groaner or one liner. What do you have to post?" "I'm late once again!

How about a good CLEAN joke, groaner, one liner?

It's time for a good CLEAN joke, one liner and yes, the good old groaner. What do you have to post?

It's late afternoon. Most of you are done with work or just about to finish. How about a good, CLEAN, joke?

It's almost my time for supper. How about a good CLEAN joke, groaner, one liner do you have for me?

It's that time of day! I found this groaner. What can you come up with?

A groaner, a good CLEAN laugh?

After being away for awhile, I think it's time to post a good CLEAN joke, one liner or groaner. What do you have?

Time to laugh! What CLEAN joke, one liner, groaner do you have to share tonight?

I know it's the weekend and most are busy. I'm still going to post a groaner! Do you have a CLEAN joke to share?

It's time for that good CLEAN joke, groaner or one liner. What do you have to post?

I'm late once again! How about a good CLEAN joke, groaner, one liner?

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.