First real attempt at poetry, constructive criticism please?

If in fact the poem regards a real experience, then I empathize. I won't pick apart your effort other than to say, Do Not capitalize every line, most especially when continuing a thought / sentence, which leads to another suggestion... Use Punctuation.

It is sad to lose a loved one. Sadder still is to write about them but refer mainly to ones self.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.