If you get a chance, can you read this and tell me what you think please (constructive criticism welcome)?

I think this part is of your story is pretty good. Instead of "if you won't be good, I can't find you a home..." you could say "if you can't be good, I won't be able to find you a home..." To me it sounds a little better, but do what you feel is right, that's what really counts. Do you have a name for your story yet?

I am also a writer and just finished a novel, so I know how much work it really is.

It sounds interesting. If I was paging thru this book and read that little bit, i'd buy and read it. There are a few punctuation mistakes, and I agree with what the other answerers said.

But it definitely sounds good. I want to read more!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.