I'm writing a book for teenagers 13-16. Tell me if this sounds like a good idea. Constructive criticism please?

This is actually quite good, I can tell that its a fantasy romance just from the first couple lines. It's actually really good, the description gives me a good image of the scene, and the mythological creature you chose wasn't a vampire or a werewolf, plus points on that. The only thing negative is that it seems sort of Twilight inspired.

I'm not trying to be offensive, but it does seem a little bit. So to get over this you'll have to come up with something new, and extraordinary like your own creatures, and maybe something totally controversial, like angels aren't all holy, ect.

The character makes me think of Bella Duck. The 'I couldn't bear this' part. Oh, and work on the punctuation and capitalization.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.