Is it harder to deal with an unexpected sudden death or watching someone live through a long drawn out painful death?

Watching a loved one suffer through a protracted illness and death is taxing, physically and mentally. Emotionally, I think the impact is the same. The sense of loss, for both sudden or protracted might be the same, as might the grieving URL1 matter how long you see the end coming, you are never really prepared.

Some portion of the grieving process still remains or repeats. In terms of shock and all the related consequences, a sudden, unexpected death can be devastating.It might bring on a state of "groundlessness" - nothing solid to stand on, no solid point of reference. It can make you question everything.

I've dealt with both. I wouldn't wish either on anyone.

It is harder to deal with watching someone live through a long drawn out painful death over an unexpected sudden death. My two brothers both lost a child to tragic accidents. One child died instantly, while the other was on life support for three days.

Waiting in the balance with false hope for one child was harder than accepting the instant death. Also, if someone has a long terminal illness, you might face the torment of not knowing when it will happen. As humans, we typically do not cope well will unresolved issues or prolonged suffering.

We prefer painful matters to be resolved quickly--even death.

Hands down for me it is watching them die a long painful drawn out death. I have seen a few family members do that but when I worked in the nursing home as an aide I seen it way to often. I have seen folks hang on for days in the coma state waiting for a loved one to enter, that is always sad as heck.

I no longer work in the nursing home, because death was a constant thing. It was so hard to take care of these folks, become close to them only to watch them pass slowly. It is way better to go quickly.

There are a variety of factors involved when it comes to how difficult it is either way. How close the relationship is, the personality types involved, whether or not you are actually present when the person is going through the illness and dies, extreme financial hardships, whether you are an adult or a child at the time, individual levels of coping skills, a support system or lack of one, etc. For example, in the case of an unexpected sudden death, that sometimes means a horrific accident in which one family member is driving (and perhaps is the one who caused the wreck) and other loved ones in the car don't live through it. There are all kinds of painful and terrible when it comes to loss in this world, that's for sure.

People are who they are and feel what they feel, and there's no one right answer to this in terms of all the anger, fear, sorrow, desperation and other things a person could experience. In other words, I don't think grief is a competition in which one person's situation can be judged on the surface as somehow less significant or easier to deal with than the suffering of another person.

A long, painful death. It is never easy, though. Sudden deaths have the shock factor.

Long ones have the agony of watching someone you love suffer.

It can be harder because the person you care about is suddenly gone. You have not had any farewells, no caring, little of anything to say to the person who is instantly snatched away. A long drawn out illness can be more difficult for the sufferer and those around them; those who have to care as it can be (but not always) a lost cause.

When the person finally dies, it can be a relief that it is all over; the person's suffering is ended and they are free from the difficulty. So a sudden death can be merciful in some ways; a long drawn out one can be the opposite. Our difficulty with sudden death (such as an auto accident) is that a life appears to be cut short.

This all may sound a little harsh, and it is not meant to be so. Anyone we care about needs compassion and our concern.

To put this into perspective, think of the person you care about the most. The person who has the most effect on you and everything you do. You wake up one morning and get a call that that person just died in a car crash.

Let that sink in... Or you wake up and get a call that that person has just been diagnosed with cancer. Let that sink in...Both are a big blow, however in one case you have a chance to talk to that person again, say goodbye. However in the other you do not.It depends on if that individual going through this has had experience in one circumstance or the other.

You really don't know anything in this life unless you experience it yourself. So since you are asking for my opinion, I have lost a few people suddenly and a few more on a long term basis. I have to say being at each funeral and seeing each person's reaction, it seems more people take the sudden loss harder.

Also in the other circumstance, you have time to prepare a bit for what is to come. Although nothing can prepare you for death, you at least have some time. Agree with me or agree to disagree.

I lost a favorite aunt to an accident (she was like a sister to me) and it was terrible, mostly not being able to say good by Also my dad died slowly of prostate cancer and that was worse on me, seeing him waste away like that. I think it depends on who they are to you and how close you are. To me I would rather somebody I love go quickly than suffer like my dad did.

Definitely watching someone live through a long drawn out painful death. I have watched several family members go through this with cancer. You feel so helpless and frustrated.

When they die suddenly it's a shock but you don't have the range of emotions you have while watching someone suffer.

It is harder to watch someone you love go though a long drawn out painful death. My mother in law and brother in law were both diagnosed with cancer and both passed within weeks of finding out before they had to go through surgeries and chemotherapy. My Grandfather hung in for years with one surgery after another, going blind, having multiple strokes, coma and then death.

You just ask yourself why does some people have to go through a torturous death in the end. When people go quickly you thank your lucky stars for them because they are in a better place and didn't have to "fall apart" and go through h*ll to get there. Even though it hurts when we lose someone either way, it doesn't kill us as much inside emotionally when they go quickly instead of the alternative.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.