Why would you forgive an infidelity?

Counseling works and were I you, drop the individual counseling and stick with the couples stuff. There is nothing in individual therapy which will help with this situation and there is also nothing said there that your spouse should not be privy to especially as it relates to her. Second there aqre a couple of very helpful books on the market and very inexpensive on Amazon.

"After The Affair" and "How can I Forgive You" , both by Janis Abrahms Spring a clinical psychologist. The best part about the first is the rebuilding trust part. The second, is the understanding that forgiveness may never come but that acceptance works to preserve the marriage.

Ironically forgiving too soon or a lack of any acceptance / forgiveness result in divorce. I found both very helpful in defining the predicament.

No, I think it just takes time to forgive something like that. You're probably still in emotional shock. It's great that you're both in counseling, I think you should bring this up when you have your individual session.

Last Thursday night my husband said something about an ex that was way more detail than I ever wanted to hear, and even though it happened before we even met, I still felt really weird and betrayed, like he'd cheated on me somehow. I too felt kind of numb and looked at him differently. It made me wonder how people get over being cheated on.

Keep going to counseling, keep active, keep communicating. Time is a miracle worker, I've found. Good luck to you.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.