Would you give up your favorite hobby if your spouse asked you to?

I think it selfish of your wife to want you to stop doing something that makes you happy. However as a wife with a husband with a time consuming hobby I'd say it's important she knows the family ranks above the basket ball. For instance, if you were to pass up a day at the park with her to play basket ball clearly this would bother her as if you turned the tables I'd bet it would bother you as well.

Rather than giving up something you enjoy why don't you sit down and reach a compromise with your wife. Find out what it is about your playing that bothers her in the first place and try to eliminate that annoyance. For example, if she is just mad you play so often, play a bit less often or pick set times to play and stick to that.

If your wife knowsyou are playing but will only play for X many hours on X day/days then she's more likely to be okay with that as she knows you care about her feelings, you are trying to meet her half way, and basket ball doesn't beat the family.

I ask myself that question sometimes, because my hobby is one many such relationships have tension over: skydiving. Our spouses tend to argue that a) it's dangerous, b) it's expensive, and c) it takes up too much of our time. We in turn argue that a) it's less dangerous than driving down the freeway, b) we love it, and c) we have the right to enjoy our time off.

There's a fine line between a reasonable request and emotional blackmail when you're in a relationship. "I'm concerned about our relationship in regards to your hobby" can easily become "if you loved me, you'd stop" (I consider any statement starting with "if you loved me..." to be a problem). If my spouse asked me to stop skydiving, I guess I would have to agree with him that it is dangerous, and it is a little selfish.

However, I don't think I could give it up. I love it, and there's nothing else like it. There's no compromise with skydiving.

If you climb mountains, you can "downgrade" to day hikes. If you run marathons, you can "downgrade" to shorter runs. Skydiving you do or don't do--period.

I honestly am not sure what would happen if he asked me to stop. I think he's not sure either, which keeps him from asking. He also know it's important to me, and I think he shows his love by not asking.

I try to make sure we have at least one day a week together, and that I don't bore him by talking about my dropzone all the time. Outside of that though, I feel it's my time and something I need to do.

I think when you have a spouse who just doesn't understand your hobby; you are going to need to have patience, especially if you put a lot of time and energy into the hobby. The best thing you can do is to try to teach them as much as you can about what it is that you like to do. By taking the time to learn about your hobby she may eventually understand what draws you to it.

You should also try to spend quality time with your spouse so they won’t feel like they are in competition with your hobby. Having an additional hobby that you both are interested is a good way to share time together. My husband and I are total opposites in our interest but we did discover that we both enjoy bowling.So, we go bowling together twice a week.

We even joined a family league and now it’s something we do as a family.

No. Well let me rephrase that. It depended on the hobby and the situation.

I think it also depends on why a person would ask another to stop a hobby. A hobby by standards is often banal, therapeutic, or cathartic and creative outlet. But if it become obsessive and destructive, like drugs, alcohol or other ideas it might be an appropriate request.My dad always told my mom that her hobby, sewing was useful.

But collecting chotchkis was not. I am a firm believer a safe Hobby equals sanity.It is a way to get distracted into something positive. For me it is doll making.

But I don’t make lost of dolls and collect them. I make one or two maybe four or five and then give them away after I have worked n it. So my dolls do not clutter up the house.

I have-not yet become the old lady with the creepy doll room. I also have snorkeling as a hobby, which matches hubbies and daughters SCUBA hobby. Mine are what you would call proactive hobbies.

But in answer to the question directly would I give up a hobby if my souse asked, only if it endangered my family and home life and I didn’t see it.

As long as it doesn't become a priority before your family, I don't think it's a bad thing at all. It's important to have your alone time for the personal things you'd like to do--it's healthy! I don't think significant others or spouses should tell each other to stop doing things they know their partner loves--it simply doesn't sit right.

Marriage, love, and relationships shouldn't be selfish and asking your partner to stop doing something he or she loves is wrong (in my point of view). Unless, of course, that hobby is dangerous to the family (for example, shooting heroin). You're not being selfish, just make sure you spend enough time with the family too.

Maybe even invite your family to shoot some hoops with you or go to a game. This will involve them and make your wife feel more at ease with your hobby.

No go head and do it it is a healthy activity for you. I would not give up my favorite hobby for my wife. My hobbies are work and planning so I have a good excuse.

If your spouse really cares about you, they wouldn't ask you to give up something you love. If you care about them, you should tone it down if your hobby is over the top, or try and make it less of an invasion on them. I've been cross stitching for years and have even put my own website about it at cross-stitch-patterns.atspace.com" rel="nofollow">cross-stitch-patterns.atspace.com and hubby was none too pleased about all my works adorning our walls, so we came to a compromise.

I have my works in a couple of the rooms and leave the rest to more general wall decorations like family pics. Works for us. Ana :o) cross-stitch-patterns.atspace.com" rel="nofollow">cross-stitch-patterns.atspace.com.

I don't think you should have to completely give up playing basketball. Maybe just schedule your playing around other events and activities that your wife wants to do. If she has a hobby she can pursue that when you are playing basketball or can spend time with her friends during that time.

If you like to watch basketball on television, record the game, do something with your wife and watch the game at a later time when your wife is busy with something else or watching her favorite television program. Discuss these alternatives with your wife and listen to how she responds. If she is reasonable, she will go along with them.

If she argues, then mention a hobby of hers that she should give up and see how it feels to be in your shoes. Maybe then she'll be able to understand a bit and both of you can compromise some. There shouldn't be a reason why you should give up basketball completely.

Good luck!

I think you should continue to play basketball. You are not out drinking or going to bars. What you are doing is keeping you healthy and happy, perhaps you can play basketball less to my your spouse happy, but I would not cut it out all together.

I used to be into arts and my spouse was not. We just both accepted we have different hobbies and that is ok. As long as your hobby does not rule your life, it should be accepted.Do everything in moderation.

I guess if my spouse was really against it, I might stop my hobby, but I would first have a long sit down talk and see why my hobby was such a problem and what we could do to make us both happy. flickr.com/photos/emre_u/1183072298.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.