Please C & C: What do you think of this rough draft poem?

Hi Bree my name is Colleen and I have had a lot of experience writing poetry. I find that for a first draft that this is actually quiet intruiging and shows quiet a lot of potential but maybe you could try to rephrase what you want to say into a more emotional sense. I don't mean to knock you down I just want you to write a pretty damn good poem.

Try looking up Emily Dickenson or Allen Ginsberg for inspiration. I hope I helped and please give me the BA cause I am dying to get to level two. Love you bybe bye xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.